It did not work as planned...

I took the day off today so I could regroup and get mentally prepared for another few weeks of mundane, mentally draining work. I thought lots of sleep, writing, and reading would have me in a better frame of mind. Unfortunatley that has not happened. Barely any writing, some sleep and very little reading has left me even more sick of my life. Its been a dreary, rainy day here I suppose that has not helped much. UGH!

M

"Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears." Edgar Allen Poe

I have not had much time for this blog lately and for those of you who actually read it, sorry. Life has been full of everyday busyness (spelling I am sure is wrong! LOL) Working two jobs is taking its toll, but the bills are slowly but surely getting caught up. I actually have more than $10 left after the bills are paid!!! LOL

This weekend the Red Barn Arts & Craft Festival takes place here in my small town. It is the highlight of the year for me. I missed the St. Louis art festival because of work, so this is exciting. It would be so much better if I had someone to enjoy it with, maybe my daughter will go. Doubt it, she does not find this sort of thing as much fun as I do. LOL

My day job has become a horrendous bore! I work on a project and the lady who ran it was fun and tried to make the boring work we do interesting. This week they took her off of it and put someone else in charge and well lets just say that if she cracked a smile the world would come to an end! I am fighting once again to get up and go and then actually stay there all day! It BLOWS! And working at wallyworld, well, it just is. The holiday season is coming up and I am sure I will not see the light of day for months!

As far as everything else is going, I am loving writing the blog for the gallery. It keeps me in touch with a better side of me. Just wish I had more time and energy for that side. I think I have decided I will be going to school in the fall, cannot really see a way of financially making it if I do not go. School loans and all that jazz.

Well this post has become a bitching session and I think I will stop for now.

M.

"All that you see or seem, is but a dream within a dream." Edgar Allen Poe

So a bit of weirdness has crept into my life over the past few days. My sister asked if it was good, bad, or cautious but I have no idea. Not real sure I want to go into exactly what it is here, cause unfortunatley I dont know exactly who reads this. Although I only have 3 followers I know anyone can read it. So I will just say the beginning of the weirdness was somewhat irritating. I was not sure if the person who began it was trying to upset me or warn me about something. The more it went on the more I believed they were trying to warn me. Although there was nothing to warn me about. But some people, instead of finding out facts just take things at face value. So I explained to this person there was no truth to what they were telling me and I would find a way to prove that. Which I intend to do this week. Since that first conversation we have continued to talk. Very, very weird. A very nice person, but in talking to me they jeopardize the relationship they are in. So after three days of communicating and getting to know them, I told them they were jeopardizing their relationship and if they chose not to continue I would understand. I just felt very weird talking to them. At the same time the person I was talking with had many of the same interests I do, many of the same issues, etc. I liked them.

Oh well we shall see how that goes. Either they realize what can happen or they dont believe me.

"History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies." Alexis de Tocqueville

August 26, 2009

Well I now have 2 blogs running! The other one is more "official" and more of what I want to be doing career wise. Here is the link http://tsugallery.wordpress.com/
This is the art gallery at my alma mater Truman State University.

It was really great being able to do this, it is giving me the chance to talk about what I really enjoy, art! Maybe it will help me decide about school next fall. Right now I am still really up in the air about it, but I am beginning to have some ideas of what I may end up doing my dissertation on. :o) I will have to start doing some research and see what it turns up.

Things otherwise are going ok. The second job is taking its toll on me but I kinda like it. I have an interview tomorrow for a factory job, which I am not real keen about, but the money is great and it will only be for the next nine months or so. It will help pay the student loans and I can save some for when I decide what I am going to do.

TTFN

It is what it is...

Just when life seemed to be getting somewhat more managable. My daughter has been having problems with her teeth for a few months so we went to the dentist and were told all was well. Then Saturday her mouth started hurting really bad and seemed like she had some sort of sore. I just figured she busted it or burned it on something but it just kept getting worse. Today she came home crying, so we went to the doctor and then to a different dentist. She has a mess going on and its going to cost a fortune even with the insurance. Just what I need another bill!!! Oh well I guess if I get offered the job at the factory I will take it and dump one of the other jobs. (The money is too good to pass up even if I dont end up liking it. It is only a year.)

Beatae memoriae

I love my new job. It is fun, hard work, and lots of people to talk to. But tonight it makes me think of the little one I miss so much. Watching all the parents and grandparents buying school clothes and school supplies makes me miss her all the more. I try so hard to put it in the locked portion of my heart but sometimes it bubbles up to the surface and threatens to spill over. I can not let that happen. Allowing such feelings would bring me into such a state that I do not know if I would recover this time. The last time recovery was a necessity, my children needed me. This time not so much. So I must keep it locked away. Someday she will know. Someday she will read these thoughts and understand the tears which flow inside my heart.

I miss you, I love you, and there is not a day that goes by without some thought of you. Enjoy your new school year, learn all you can and stay innocent.

Grandma Shell...

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get."

So I have no idea why I was feeling so weird about last Sunday. I did find out there are no feelings left inside for him. :o) It is kinda weird but I like it. Still can make him do a double take though! That was awesome!!!!

Becky looked gorgeous and all grown up and Anthony is all grown up as well. Weird how kids do that. It was good to see them, only wish we had been able to sit and catch up.

Well I start a new job on Saturday(#2) probably will be taking up most of my time, but I will keep trying to write. Oh and I am going to be doing the blog for my college art gallery. Should be interesting. Not sure what all that consists of right now but I will post a link here when I start it.

TTFN