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Saturday, October 3, 2009

C'est la vie

This blog has come to its end. I thought it would be a place where I could speak my mind and not worry about what I said. Guess that was a fanciful thought. Maybe someday the prying eyes will go away.

TTFN

Friday, October 2, 2009

"Stupidity is a talent for misconception." Edgar Allan Poe

I am sitting here wondering why? What did my daughter or I ever do to deserve this? I was there for every happy moment and every sick moment of that childs life.

I was there through my loves cancer, shoulder surgery, and back surgeries. I watched her giving up and helped her keep on living.

I was there for every basketball, football, or baseball game she wanted to go to.

I was there every Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July, Father's Day and every Mother's Day. I gave her everything. I took her to every appointmnent, held her hand through surgeries, prayed although I do not believe. I defended her to her mother, told her she was stronger than anyone I had ever met. Believed that she had something to live for and tried to help her believe it.

My daughter was there for every moment of unwanted babysitting, trash ripping, and bitch session.

What did I get from all of that? This? To be called a "whore" for the entire world to see? $80,000 worth of debt? Gee I thought a "whore" at least got paid for getting f***ed in the a**! (sorry about the language)

Sorry I know I said I would not do this, but there are moments when this is all that can do.

I just do not understand any of this. It really is sad and funny all at the same time.

M.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours." Wayne Dyer

I love it when life comes together so perfectly! One day you feel like total sh** and the next day all is right with the universe again!! You stop having doubts about what you believe and realize everything you do believe is true!! Your vision is once again clear and life smiles on you.

It is so funny and yet sad at the same time. I wish I could share it openly with you but this is one of those things that if you open your mouth only bad karma can follow :o) So I will not. But it is sweet!

M.

Monday, September 21, 2009

It did not work as planned...

I took the day off today so I could regroup and get mentally prepared for another few weeks of mundane, mentally draining work. I thought lots of sleep, writing, and reading would have me in a better frame of mind. Unfortunatley that has not happened. Barely any writing, some sleep and very little reading has left me even more sick of my life. Its been a dreary, rainy day here I suppose that has not helped much. UGH!

M

Thursday, September 17, 2009

"Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears." Edgar Allen Poe

I have not had much time for this blog lately and for those of you who actually read it, sorry. Life has been full of everyday busyness (spelling I am sure is wrong! LOL) Working two jobs is taking its toll, but the bills are slowly but surely getting caught up. I actually have more than $10 left after the bills are paid!!! LOL

This weekend the Red Barn Arts & Craft Festival takes place here in my small town. It is the highlight of the year for me. I missed the St. Louis art festival because of work, so this is exciting. It would be so much better if I had someone to enjoy it with, maybe my daughter will go. Doubt it, she does not find this sort of thing as much fun as I do. LOL

My day job has become a horrendous bore! I work on a project and the lady who ran it was fun and tried to make the boring work we do interesting. This week they took her off of it and put someone else in charge and well lets just say that if she cracked a smile the world would come to an end! I am fighting once again to get up and go and then actually stay there all day! It BLOWS! And working at wallyworld, well, it just is. The holiday season is coming up and I am sure I will not see the light of day for months!

As far as everything else is going, I am loving writing the blog for the gallery. It keeps me in touch with a better side of me. Just wish I had more time and energy for that side. I think I have decided I will be going to school in the fall, cannot really see a way of financially making it if I do not go. School loans and all that jazz.

Well this post has become a bitching session and I think I will stop for now.

M.

Monday, September 7, 2009

"All that you see or seem, is but a dream within a dream." Edgar Allen Poe

So a bit of weirdness has crept into my life over the past few days. My sister asked if it was good, bad, or cautious but I have no idea. Not real sure I want to go into exactly what it is here, cause unfortunatley I dont know exactly who reads this. Although I only have 3 followers I know anyone can read it. So I will just say the beginning of the weirdness was somewhat irritating. I was not sure if the person who began it was trying to upset me or warn me about something. The more it went on the more I believed they were trying to warn me. Although there was nothing to warn me about. But some people, instead of finding out facts just take things at face value. So I explained to this person there was no truth to what they were telling me and I would find a way to prove that. Which I intend to do this week. Since that first conversation we have continued to talk. Very, very weird. A very nice person, but in talking to me they jeopardize the relationship they are in. So after three days of communicating and getting to know them, I told them they were jeopardizing their relationship and if they chose not to continue I would understand. I just felt very weird talking to them. At the same time the person I was talking with had many of the same interests I do, many of the same issues, etc. I liked them.

Oh well we shall see how that goes. Either they realize what can happen or they dont believe me.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

"History is a gallery of pictures in which there are few originals and many copies." Alexis de Tocqueville

August 26, 2009

Well I now have 2 blogs running! The other one is more "official" and more of what I want to be doing career wise. Here is the link http://tsugallery.wordpress.com/
This is the art gallery at my alma mater Truman State University.

It was really great being able to do this, it is giving me the chance to talk about what I really enjoy, art! Maybe it will help me decide about school next fall. Right now I am still really up in the air about it, but I am beginning to have some ideas of what I may end up doing my dissertation on. :o) I will have to start doing some research and see what it turns up.

Things otherwise are going ok. The second job is taking its toll on me but I kinda like it. I have an interview tomorrow for a factory job, which I am not real keen about, but the money is great and it will only be for the next nine months or so. It will help pay the student loans and I can save some for when I decide what I am going to do.

TTFN