Thursday, July 30, 2009
So I am sitting here with lots of questions and dilemas about this weekend and life itself. I have been thinking maybe I dont want to go to Ohio. I am feeling very insecure about school and doing all that stuff that comes with it. I just dont know, I want to be near the ocean. After this year I dont really have much to keep me here. I just cant seem to wrap my head around another five years of school in a very, very cold city. Nor the idea of becoming a professor. I cant see it. All I can see is me working at some nothing job, or maybe a gallery and spending all my time at the beach. I know stupid....I dont really care about having all the stuff, just enough...Oh hell I do not know.
As far as this weekend goes I am trying to figure out if I even remember what he is actually like. I remember he does not let much rattle him. His emotions are always hidden. So I do not even know if it is worth all the effort I am thinking of going too. If he even notices he would never admit it. The other question I have is why the hell do I even care???? I do not know.