Friday, August 14, 2009

Beatae memoriae

I love my new job. It is fun, hard work, and lots of people to talk to. But tonight it makes me think of the little one I miss so much. Watching all the parents and grandparents buying school clothes and school supplies makes me miss her all the more. I try so hard to put it in the locked portion of my heart but sometimes it bubbles up to the surface and threatens to spill over. I can not let that happen. Allowing such feelings would bring me into such a state that I do not know if I would recover this time. The last time recovery was a necessity, my children needed me. This time not so much. So I must keep it locked away. Someday she will know. Someday she will read these thoughts and understand the tears which flow inside my heart.

I miss you, I love you, and there is not a day that goes by without some thought of you. Enjoy your new school year, learn all you can and stay innocent.

Grandma Shell...


  1. Oh my gosh Michele,
    I walked into Officemax the other day and saw all the school supplies and STILL had that rush of feelings remembering all of the years that we did the school supplies thing together. The shopping for new shoes, etc.

    Fall is still one of my favorite times of year.

    The start of the school year and all of that anticipation and flurry just isn't part of it anymore because my little one is all grown up.

    They grow. You grow.

    In sometimes surprising ways. Change is good. Embracing it is even better.

    I'm glad you like the new job!

    Karen :0)

  2. Michele,
    Look what I came across this morning.
    It made me tear up.

    a baby to wave
    we spend a lifetime
    learning to do this

    © esin goldman 2009

  3. I think I will cry myself to sleep tonight. The poem is beautiful. I just wish I had the opportunity to keep teaching her. Oh well, gotta keep moving on and through it.